Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Moments of Togetherness…

“You seem to be taking your medications these days,” Carolyn says blithely as I sit over my bento box enjoying my teriyaki grilled chicken.

“I don’t have a choice,” I reply. “Remember? I get a shot in my ass every two weeks.”

Carolyn shudders and also smiles.

“I hate shots,” She replies as she eats her freshly prepared sushi.

“My ex-wife loved this restaurant,” I tell her.

“I wish you wouldn’t talk about her,” Carolyn says. “She was nuts. She needed to be medicated.”

I smirk. I don’t like Carolyn belittling my ex-wife though. Rachel had her faults, but she tried so hard when dealt with the most trying of circumstances. She loved me to the bitter end.

“My drinking drove Rachel crazy,” I reply in Rachel’s defense as I take another bite of my chicken.

“I can’t imagine you drunk,” Carolyn says.

“You don’t want to imagine me drunk,” I reply candidly. “I was not a very nice person when drinking.”

“Well, don’t ever start back and we will be fine,” She replies.

We finish our meal. I pay and leave a tip. The traffic out of Atlanta is horrendous. I look over to find Carolyn has fallen fast asleep. It is getting close to midnight. I reach over to grab her hand and she stirs and looks over at me.

“I love you, faults and all,” She says sleepily. “Rachel was a fool to leave you.”

I grasp her hand tightly as I pull off of the Lagrange exit to get some gas. Carolyn has fallen back asleep. Her face is all alit by the bright lights of the convenience store as I pull up to the gas pump.

“It’s good to not be alone,” I say as I stand out in the harsh cold as I swipe my debit card to fill up.

I can still see her sleeping in the car. It is so good to not be alone.

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Christina said...

It sounds like it was an amazing night... may life continue to bring you wonderful surprises.

PipeTobacco said...


I am fearful that you are perhaps reading too much into Carolyn's actions. Please know I am not a cynic when it comes to love and romance... they are beautiful things indeed... perhaps the most important thing to search for in life.

That said, I hope you will try to maintain a jaundiced view about Carolyn's "lovey-dove" actions. Listen, enjoy, even participate in the game.... but keep your emotions protected, for I believe that the next time things are "challenging" for her, she will vanish once again.

You deserve more than a relationship that is a "flight risk". You deserve someone who is there for you and you for her.... always.

So, I advise you to travel on the "Carolyn train" and have fun.... as long as you can keep your emotions out of the mix. It does you absolutely no good to pine after her and fill yourself up with meloncholy when she ends up leaving again. You end up only hurting yourself.


Piper said...

It is wonderful to hear you sounding so happy! The tough part is the point that Mr. Tobacco makes...it is a good one. Love is a funny thing. To love, I think you must have trust, which can be near impossible to manifest. How can you ever truly know the heart of another? You can't. But how can you live in fear? I hope you continue to enjoy good times with Carolyn, but put your own heart first. It sounds like ultimately, that is what she does.

latibug said...

I like what Pipe said....very wise soul and response....

I've got you in my thoughts often.


abbagirl74 said...