The ABC 33/40 weather blog has some interesting outlooks for the long term for us. They say this winter is setting up to give us a good snow due to what they are calling “The Pineapple Express.” I can picture throngs of people stampeding the local supermarkets for bread and milk as I write this.
This evening brought a quiet resolve out of me – to get out of this damnable house at the nearest opportunity. Every time I go to leave, something catches my attention on the internet and I end up reading for another hour. The steady pouring rain outside my windows doesn’t help my resolve, either.
When I get to feeling like I have lately, I want the comforting and reassuring presence of my father. I almost called several times, but have to be careful. I hate to burden my family with my mental issues. I don’t want to be seen as crying out for attention. I wanted Dad to hug me and tell me everything was going to be okay. Schizophrenia is such an alienating disease.
George came by this evening and “reborrowed” the twenty bucks he gave me earlier. George made me burst out laughing when he jokingly said….
“It could be worse. You could be sleeping with a crack head.”
“I just don’t get you and Pookie,” I replied as I laughed.
George had a point. My life would get infinitely more complicated with a Pookie in it. George had already had a few and I could smell it on his breath. If you are a “sober” alcoholic then there is no more revolting smell than sour beer breath.