Sunday, January 21, 2007

Odds and Ends…

The ABC 33/40 weather blog has some interesting outlooks for the long term for us. They say this winter is setting up to give us a good snow due to what they are calling “The Pineapple Express.” I can picture throngs of people stampeding the local supermarkets for bread and milk as I write this.

This evening brought a quiet resolve out of me – to get out of this damnable house at the nearest opportunity. Every time I go to leave, something catches my attention on the internet and I end up reading for another hour. The steady pouring rain outside my windows doesn’t help my resolve, either.

When I get to feeling like I have lately, I want the comforting and reassuring presence of my father. I almost called several times, but have to be careful. I hate to burden my family with my mental issues. I don’t want to be seen as crying out for attention. I wanted Dad to hug me and tell me everything was going to be okay. Schizophrenia is such an alienating disease.

George came by this evening and “reborrowed” the twenty bucks he gave me earlier. George made me burst out laughing when he jokingly said….

“It could be worse. You could be sleeping with a crack head.”

“I just don’t get you and Pookie,” I replied as I laughed.

George had a point. My life would get infinitely more complicated with a Pookie in it. George had already had a few and I could smell it on his breath. If you are a “sober” alcoholic then there is no more revolting smell than sour beer breath.


Di said...

Last spring, when my marriage was definitely over, I so much wanted someone who cared for me to just hold me and whisper to me "everything will be okay".

I think given how much your father cares for you and about you, he might just be reassured by your asking for a hug. :)

Cheryl said...

I think your father would be so pleased for you to go to him for a hug and some reassurance. Your mother would also be so happy to see you and spend time together. Your father is no stranger to your illness, and there is no shame in showing your need for him. Call him or just go to him. It will be OK, by the way.

DramaMama said...

Things can ALWAYS be worse... always.

Maybe George is sleeping with a crackhead but it can even be worse with that...

A crackhead with crabs.

See, it can always be worse. No matter where you are in life, someone is worse of than you, somewhere.

austere said...

I read this, reborrowed, eh?