Tuesday, January 30, 2007

A Moment of Reflection…

Lunch time found me sitting down at the shopping center in deep thought. The four walls of my apartment felt like they were closing in on me and I craved fresh air and the busyness of other people’s lives. I quietly watched as the many people came to and fro from the stores near me.
I pulled out my pack of cigarettes and offered her a smoke. Just like George hates to drink alone, I hate to smoke alone and wanted to share the joy.
Rosa came walking down and sat down beside me. I was glad to have her near to talk to.

“You look like shit,” She said. “You need a shave.”

“I feel like shit,” I replied rubbing my face.

I pulled out my pack of cigarettes and offered her a smoke. Just like George hates to drink alone, I hate to smoke alone and wanted to share the joy. I have smoked three packs since midnight last night as is par for the course when I am feeling mentally interesting.

“You are awfully quiet,” She said contemplatively.

“I know,” I said. “I am dealing with a shit load of mental baggage at the moment.”

“When I get to feeling down and crazy,” She said. “I eat a good meal and lie down for a nap. I always wake up feeling better.”

I took Rosa’s advice and headed home for a good lunch and a nap. I hadn’t eaten since yesterday afternoon. I warmed up some left over pot roast and vegetables and made a big cast iron pan of buttery and spicy Mexican cornbread. I took a double dose of my noon time medications and got to feeling much better in an hour after lying down. Rosa was right and I added this routine to my list of things to do when feeling like crap. It is amazing that something so simple can make you feel so much better. Routines are the key.


fiwa said...

Maybe that's why you met Rosa.
I'm glad you're feeling better.

Augs Casa said...

looks like Rosa is becoming a regular good conversation for you. I'm glad you got out into the fresh air and have a nice chat with her. hang in the amigo. BTW, Mexican cornbread??? I'm mexican and must say I never had the pleasure of having it.

latibug said...

Glad you are feeling better.


Amanda said...

Routine is very important. Especially for us interesting folk. First thing to go when my routine is disturbed, is food and sleep. Rosa is very wise.

DramaMama said...

Well I am so glad to hear you are feeling better! Rosa gave you some great advice:)

And I love how you said "mentally interesting". That is a phrase I think I would like to use from time to time... if you don't mind:) I'll credit you of course.

abbagirl74 said...

Well, the food sounds delic. I am sad that we can't be a part of your meals at the table. I bet your a kick ass cook. The pictures you have shown us put me to shame when it comes to throwin' down in the kitchen. I can smell the corn bread right here in Kansas. Can you hear the jealousy in my voice in Alabama?

Cheryl said...

Very glad you found what made you feel better. Routine, food, friendship, meds and some rest. Are the flowers still in bloom there? That would be a pleasant sight to see.

kario said...

Sleep is a terrific coping mechanism for me. When my mind is buzzing so loudly I can't even meditate to a guided meditation CD I can almost always calm down by sleeping for a while. Glad you found another way to release some tension.

austere said...

Double dose of the meds? HUH?

Rosa's right. Structure helps. But if I remember right, you'd worked out a structure with your walking and writing time.

Melanie said...

oh yes, having a list of things you can do when you start heading downwards is really important. it's not a perfect system (sometimes, when i'm really crashed, i have a hard time forcing myself even to reference the "fix it list" that i have set aside for myself for such situations) but if you can take that step to pick something on the list and DO IT, it can help break the cycle. i'm glad rosa was around that day and able to give you an idea for a way out of where you were stuck.