I couldn’t sleep this morning. I made my way down to Fat Albert’s in a steady rain. Out of habit, I walked over to the beer cooler and stood there looking at the rows upon rows of beer and malt liquor.
“It’s kind of early to be drinking beer, don’t cha think?” Rang out, startling me, and bringing me out of my beer induced trance.
I turned to look and the manager was standing there with a mop in hand.
“You are Carolyn’s boyfriend, aren’t you?” She then asked.
“We are no longer dating,” I replied.
“Sorry to hear that,” She said. “Carolyn was one of our best workers. We all miss her.”
I left the manager and walked over to fix a coffee and then to the counter to get what I originally came for.
“Two cartons of Smoker’s Choice little cigars lights 100s please,” I said.
The clerk grabbed two cartons and rung me up.
“That will be $21.50,” She replied.
I handed over my money and grabbed the plastic bag of cigars. I made my way out to the car as the rain still steadily poured. My hands were shaking and I placed my forehead upon the steering wheel as I let out a deep sigh.
“One day at a time,” I whispered. “You only have to not drink one day at a time.”
I finally regained my composure and drove the short drive home with thoughts of alcohol and inebriated bliss upon my mind. My internal battle of the wills is still waging as I write this. Does it ever get easier? I do hope so.