Friday, December 8, 2006

Buzzy is the Word…

I am still not feeling one hundred percent. My head felt all buzzy during and after my three mile hike today. It was a swimmy feeling like I was drunk. I was even slurring some of my words. They increased my Risperdal up 3 mg and added 10 mg of Lexapro. I wonder if those are the reasons I feel the way I do. I just feel as if I am moving in slow motion. Even my shadow upon the ground, as I hiked this afternoon in the late afternoon winter sun, seemed odd to me and wavered violently and shimmered as I walked.

My hike was mostly uneventful. I did get to see one train pass which made my day. I stood off to the side of the tracks as the great locomotive came clamoring by pulling several other locomotives and possibly a fifty car unit coal train. I felt like a kid again like I always do when seeing such a magnificent sight. The train passed and I rushed over to kneel and put my ear upon that cold steel rail to listen to the train fade far off in the distance through the metal of the rails. It creates a resonance that is music to my ears and like none other.

It was another brutally cold day here in the south. We usually don’t see such temperatures this cold during the day throughout the winter. It got only up to 37 degrees today (2.7 degrees Celsius). I know. Don’t laugh at me you Canadians and Northerners. Us Southerners are not used to such cold temperatures and rarely do we see them so low during the peak heating hours of the day.

The evening, mom called me and Helen had fixed a wonderful supper.

“Come over and eat with me,” Mom said.

“I will be over as soon as I put on some warm clothes,” I replied. “What did Helen cook by the way?”

“Ground sirloin patties in gravy, steamed cabbage, mashed garlic potatoes, cornbread, and cole slaw,” Mom told me.

“Man, that sounds delicious,” I replied as I hung up the phone, dressed in some warm clothes, and walked over to eat.

After eating, my father arrived home from work and informed me he had arranged with a very good local restaurant for me to go everyday and eat lunch (meat and two vegetables, cornbread, dessert, and tea) everyday. Dad had already paid for this month. He is worried about my weight loss these days and hopes this will fatten me up some. I graciously accepted as this restaurant is awesome and that means one meal I won’t have to cook and wash up afterwards. I will just walk or ride my bike over everyday and eat my lunch as the restaurant is nearby. I am at my lowest weight level in years and years. Maybe that fattening and delicious restaurant food will put some pounds on.


GRANNY said...

I am new to blogging. I am wishing everyone a "MERRY CHRISTMAS".

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on many things. I too am adjusting my meds and often don't feel myself - with or without. I have depression and anxiety and am an avid hiker because of my dog. I live 150 miles south of the Canadian border. It was warmer today, I could unzip my coat a little and my dog didn't even need his boots. I have taken Lexapro in the past and found it to make me not at all who I normally am. Best wishes.

Summer said...

There is nothing better than southern cooking to warm the soul. Congratulations on the cigarette thingie. I know how hard it is.

SKQBDOO said...

I was once perscribed Lexapro and hated the way it made me feel. I found I was more emotional that ever while taking it.

That was so sweet and thoughtful of your Dad to set up your lunches for you.

Oh, and did I mention that I missed you while you were gone?

Kristen said...

You have been through a lot, and 'one day at a time' will help get you through this period of stabilization. It will take time for your body to adjust to the new meds. Try to be patient. Writing it out to us I am sure is a help because you will not feel so alone and because there are others who can commiserate.

Peace be with you.

The lunches sound great! Very thoughtful of your dad.

We all like to read about your joy-of-life experiences. They are really wonderfully observed and expressed.

It is good to have you back.

Lady Aeval said...

You're very lucky to have family to support you. What a wonderful dinner to come home to.

I'm not laughing at you. 37 is COLD. Being from northern California, I can tell you that Wisconsin is so not me at all.

greglo said...

Again, your writing is so good!!!!!!

... that I cant help thinking you have material for at least one great thick wonderful book..

Anyway, it's great to have you back and to read from you again!

Best thoughts,


grad007 said...


I am so glad that you are back and posting! Why does the psychiatric hospital have to be so draconian, with no heating and no internet?

I hope you soon recover from your recent bout of poor health.

austere said...

You will adjust to the increased dose in some time. take care.

hen said...

Andrew I was prescribed lexapro a year and a half ago and the first week I was on it I felt like I could not function, I could barely drive and even had to call out of work. Those effects eventually went away ; I still ended up switching medications for completely different reasons, but hte bad effects do eventually lessen