A very bright moon is rising high upon the horizon as I write this, casting cold luminescent shadows upon my backyard outside my windows.
“Uhg, your hospital needs a new interior decorator,” Carolyn said of my sparsely furnished room on the psychiatric ward.
She stood at my barred and grated windows looking out upon the recreation area in the courtyard. Inside my cold and barren room was one iron framed bed bolted to the floor. That was it. I sat on the bed with my face within my hands with my elbows propped up upon my knees.
“Are you feeling better?” Carolyn asked. “You scared me last weekend.”
I let out a sigh thinking of last weekend when Carolyn came over to find me nervously pacing the floor thinking my neighbors were spying upon me.
“Yeah, I feel better, but heavily sedated,” I replied.
Carolyn walked over to sit on the bed beside me and reached for my hand to hold it.
“I can understand if you want to turn tail and run,” I then told her as we looked at each other.
She hugged me strongly.
“Honey, I am not going anywhere,” She replied. “I think of it as you just have cancer and need a chemo treatment from time to time.”
The nurse then knocked upon the door to my room to tell us visitation hours were over.
“I will see you tomorrow night,” Carolyn said as she grabbed her purse and got up to leave.
The nurse was eyeing us warily standing in between our last kiss before saying goodbye. Carolyn turned at the door to look at me one last time meekly with a weak smile. The nurse opened the locked door to let her back out into the general public. I was left standing alone amidst the crazy denizens of this ward with a tear in my eye longing for more time with her. C’est le vie as the French are fond of saying.