Monday, November 20, 2006

Tears Fall…

Between Carolyn last night and Ferret this morning, I think everyone close to me and in my life is crying and upset these days. From moody homeless men to jealous girlfriends, I just can’t seem to win.

Ferret was crying when I walked through the woods to the clearing where he has pitched his tent early this morning. He quickly wiped his face and tried to hide it, but it was obvious he had been crying. It didn’t help that it was a brutally cold morning with a very heavy frost upon the land; miserable conditions to be sitting out in the woods with only a fire and sleeping bag to keep warm.

“You okay?” I asked not quite sure how to react. I had never seen Ferret really get upset before.

“Yeah, I just got something in my eye,” Ferret replied wiping his face.

I stood next to Ferret’s roaring fire to warm my hands.

“Why don’t you come on home with me and get warm,” I said.

“No,” Ferret replied. “I told you I would never impose on you when I got homeless again this time and I mean it.”

“Well, let’s at least walk over to Sarah Jay’s to sit in the warmth and drink some hot coffee.”

“I would rather just be alone right now,” Ferret told me. “Just leave me alone.”

I pulled on my backpack and left Ferret to be by himself. I had had enough of the cold only being out in it an hour or so and couldn’t imagine having to sleep out in it last night. Now, I am going to worry all day that this will be Ferret’s breaking point and he will turn to the bottle once again. I know that feeling of despair that comes from homelessness and that feeling after drinking a few beers and all your problems begin to melt away. All I can do is hope he doesn’t succumb and to be there for a friend if he asks.


di said...

Hi :) The following may be stupid questions on my part, but here goes:

Ferret has an income, of sorts, now. Can he find a place to live? He also needs some friends and some sort of a community. I realize you are one of his friends....can there be more?

It just makes me sad to read about him and what's happening in his life right now.

Could he do what you once did; volunteer somewhere?

Just my thoughts this morning....

as always..thanks for sharing :)

Andrew said...


Ferret can be kind of a reserved guy and doesn’t talk about his homeless situation very much. His only family in town is his mother and she was a horrible drunk. He does have lots of family up in Atlanta, but says he hates living there. Somebody up there would probably take him in and give him a short term place to stay until he got back on his feet. Ferret will not get on a bus and ride up there though for some reason.

I find me and Ferret a lot alike as far as our mental illnesses go. We both have a rash anti-social streak with an exasperating awkwardness to boot. I guess that’s why we get along so well and I “understand” him.

George keeps talking about his cousin Monte will let him rent one of the rooms in his house for $75 dollars a week. Nothing ever comes of it though. I need to stay on George about this and get something done about it. Ferret has been really apathetic about getting a home these days and will not do what it takes to obtain one which makes things hard and exasperating when it comes to helping Ferret.

Summer said...

This made me very sad. I'm a bit antisocial myself sometimes. I will be thinking about him tonight.

austere said...

he is lucky to have you. and read the recent post too, abt the room thing working out.