I’ve been struggling with a great deal of paranoia today. All during my hike today, I thought passers by were laughing at me and pointing at me from their cars and trucks. As I hiked through the convenience store parking lot on my way home, I heard a lady loudly laughing and I just knew she was laughing at me. I had to fight the urge to holler out and tell her to shut up. When you see crazy people out upon the streets lashing out or talking loudly to themselves then these are the internal paranoia’s and conversations that are going on inside their minds. I have to actively fight the urge to say something to strangers when I walk by as I think they are laughing at me and mocking me.
I am feeling kind of stir crazy as well tonight. These short winter days really get me down and I find myself sitting in my den with every light on in the house trying to fight back the depressing darkness of a long winter’s night. I can’t wait until tomorrow arrives again and I get to head out for my daily hike down the rails in the bright daylight. Despite my paranoia today, my hike was a pleasurable experience; at least, when I was on the rails well away from other people and their prying eyes.